Three Sheets to the Wind

The wife's trial...

This isprobably be the last article written in the paper concerning my wife's last murder jury trial.  Yesterday the kid was sentenced to 32 years in jail.  Diana will file a motion to reconsider the sentence and then the notice of appeal.  After that, he have the State Appellate Defender represent him on appeal.

Diana did a great job in lining up teachers to testify for Pedro and put on one heck of a sentencing hearing and, although 32 years seems long, is was much lower than anyone thought it would be....because of her hard work.  Odd to say when the defendant gets 32 yrs after a guilty verdict, but great job Diana.

Warning label confusion...

Last night I picked up a refill of my Paxil prescription.  I noticed a new warning label on the bottle accompanying the "don't drink" and "may cause drowisness" (neither of which I figure applies to me).  The new label said in part...

"Call your doctor if you experience mood change....." 

Uh, isn't that the point of Paxil?

Maybe my doctor just likes to get good news.."Hi, Doc, it's RME, just wanted let you know I'm no longer in perpetual rage...yeah, I've calmed down and haven't hurled any vacuum cleaners across the room in days.  Just wanted to let you know the drugs are working.  Heck, I didn't even want to run that old asshat off the road for deciding to turn without bothering to signal.  Feeling good Doc"

Posting instead of email

If I could ever remember DMS' email this post wouldn't be necessary. But, I never do remember it so...

DMS...check out the "Call connected thru the NSA" ringtone from They Might Be Giants.  I think it was made with you in mind.

Block Party 2

The block party is over, the kids are in the tub and I'm polishing off my second martini. That, is a good day. The day continued with more of the same type of middle America block party fun. Where I grew up no one would THINK of having a block party. Too gauche. But here in the city, every block has some type of party. Ours hit the high points.

We had a  band (well, two guys who played music...as an aside, why we don't ask my next door neighbor who is a professional musician to play is beyond me)

The wife, of course, met all sort of neighbors...
I didn't talk to anyone except Sarah.  Last year I talked to more people.  I talked to my sister-in-law and brother-in-law who came in town for the block party, and I talked to Sarah and Francis who live down the block.  This year the in-laws didn't come to town and Francis had to work (life of a chef and all).  So, I talked to Sarah and my wife and kids and that was it.  Outgoing has never been in the top ten of attributes people name when asked to describe me. (asshole is still number one with a simple "who?" as number two).

Anyway, two doors down Ray led the block in a sing-a-long.  Well, actually Ray just sang some songs for 30 minutes. God bless him, I wouldn't even look my neighbors in the eye and there was old Ray cracking out God Bless America and Oh Susanna.  Gotta respect that level of balls..

Oh sure, along the way we had attempts to grab the cookies...
followed by the "well, I'm just gonna cry until you give me a cookie" (hint, doesn't work with mom, only dad)....

Then we had a raffle, look what I won....(or look what is next years' white elephant prize for bingo)

Yeah, it lights up...don't be jealous or hating me. 

Here is an earlier picture of the wife (the most perfect one), the world's most perfect daughter and my white trash K-Fed wannabe son (seriously, he couldn't pull his pants above his pubic bone?  Who is watching him?")

And to end it all, the world's greatest women, my wife and daughter.....

I sure hope they know what they are doing...

Headline Physorg.com: Scientists plan to recreate 'Big Bang' to uncover universe's mysteries

That must be one big-ass laboratory!

Critters

Yesterday Jack and I went to the nature center near our house.  There was an open house and a naturalist was displaying various creatures for kids to hold or look at.  Jack loves this stuff; there's hardly a bug or small animal he sees that he won't try to pick up.  Thankfully he doesn't ask to keep them or bring them home.

There were only four families at the nature center so there was plenty of time and space for everyone to see all the creatures.  What all did we see?

-- Snake.   I can't remember what kind it was but it was native to the area.  I've only seen small garter snakes in our city.  I had no idea that larger ones lived in the area.  Jack held the two-foot long snake.  I watched.

-- Salamander.  A wet lizard.  I used to find these in window wells but hadn't seen one in a long time.  Probably because of global warming.

-- Turtles.  Jack knew quite a bit about the painted and snapping turtles.  I didn't know he had been reading about them.

-- Feral children.  An older couple had brought their three young boys.  Dad wore Birkenstocks.  Mom didn't wear a bra (but most certainly should have, at least when she was much younger; it was probably too late now).  The parents were nice people but a little too laid back.  Other parents had to tell their kids to stop pounding on the glass of aquariums.  The mom and dad must have thought their boys were just being "interactive" or something like that, even though there were plenty of signs telling us to not knock on the glass.

--Red tailed hawk.  What a beautiful bird.  When he broke a wing the Raptor Center nursed him to health but because he got used to human contact he couldn't go back into the wild.  Only the naturalist could hold the birds.  When she moved the bird slightly, his head was motionless, compensating for her every movement.  Nature's version of image stabilization. Very interesting.

--Barred owl.  Another gorgeous bird.  He was in captivity because he had been abandoned as a baby and raised by people.  It was really neat to see him up close.  He pooped on the floor as he stood on the handler's glove.  The kids loved it.

-- Man with really loud and annoying cell phone ring tone.  Everything stopped as his phone belted out six seconds of some song.  Over and over.  He couldn't just answer the phone.  No, he had to wait for the caller ID information to pop up first.  Then he could answer the phone.  Hey, yeah! How's it going?! I can hardly hear you!  I'm looking at birds with my kids!  What?!  Yeah!  Oh!  Okay! Ah, nothing, just looking at birds!  I'd better go no because I'm behaving like a complete ass and people are starting to look for sharp objects.  All but the last sentence was said but hey, let me have my fantasies.

-- Wild turkeys.  Several were outside the building but they came right up to the huge windows.  They watched us as we watched them.

-- American Kestrel.  Another in the raptor family.  Smaller than the red tailed hawk.  He must not have been very hungry last night - there was a half-eaten mouse on the floor near his stand.  Ewww, gross said some of the kids as they kept coming back again and again to see the mouse.

How to tell when it is absolutely, positively, NOT your day....

(Sun-Times) A motorcyclist died after he was struck by lightning while riding in rush-hour traffic between Denver and Boulder, police said.

Witnesses reported seeing a flash of light shortly before the motorcyclist struck the center divider on U.S. 36 Wednesday, police spokesman Tim Read said.

Gary Missi, 46, of Longmont was pronounced dead at the scene.

A coroner's investigation was under way to determine whether the lightning bolt, the collision or something else caused his death, Read said. The lightning blasted a 4-inch-deep hole in the highway and sent chunks of asphalt hurtling across the highway.

Now THAT'S bad luck.

For just pennies a day...

Dad, dad, may I sign up for this on-line video game?

Well, I let you sign up for one already.  That one cost $5 a month.  You didn't play it very often and we finally cancelled the subscription.

I know, I know but I really like this new one!

I see.  And how much is it?

That's the best part.  Well, sort of.  It's $6 a month but it's a much better game.  Or, even better, I -- I mean you -- can pay $30 for a six-month period.  That means we get one month free.

Wow, we can't afford not to sign up for this one.

Dad! [eyes rolling]  Seriously!  Oh, I forgot to tell you that I can also sign up for a whole year for $60.  That's like getting TWO months free.  You could take the money out of my savings account so it doesn't cost you anything.

What happens if you tire of this game after two months?

That won't happen.

I think that's a lot of money to play video games.

Just forget it.

Well, that was easy.

Way too much pop culture...

I've been yo'd. twice.

Scene: living room, playing Polar Bowling with 6 year old.

NKE: Oh yeah, we're getting our game back, yo.

five minutes later...

NKE: It's all about the power ups, yo.

RME: [big sigh]

NKE: [after reading this post over my shoulder] What's the big deal? Everybody needs to use "yo" every once in awhile.

Kids a freak I tell you.

Observations

People I spotted this morning.

To the 50-year-old, gray-haired, poncho-wearing lady driving a smoke-belching Toyota Echo and looking loathingly at the SUV next to you at the stoplight this morning:  The Paul Wellstone sticker on your bumper is redundant.

To the young woman wearing a security guard uniform:  Authority projected by a uniform and badge is completely negated by inch-long bright-red fingernails and three-inch heels (unless they're some sort of James Bond evil henchman heels that shoot bullets).

To the guy smoking a cigarette outside an office building: Just because you're holding your Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics report in your hand doesn't mean that smoke break isn't really a smoke break.  Everyone in your office knows you only work five hours a day.

To the heavily tattooed and pierced bike messenger who actually stopped at a red light and let me pass in front of him:  Wow, there's a first time for everything.  Thanks dude.

To my wife and children:  Oh, never mind; I didn't see any of you this morning because you were still asleep when I left for work.